So after an unintended hiatus, “What’s new, you Herculean demonstration of Manliness?” I hear you cry, and multiple remindings off Kib…
So what with recent events I’ve been off radar. How to get the ball rolling again…
Then I see this. “JJ Abrams put a lot of thought into THAT scene between Han and Ben.” Wait. Its been a year now; if you haven’t seen it, it’s your OWN DAMNED FAULT
Han gets killed by Ben.
Sometimes the universe hands you something for free, so here we go.
Did JJ carefully plan ANYTHING to do with EpVII?
No. No he didn’t.
Let me take you through the entire thought process behind EpVII:
(30 years of advancement, and the only discernible difference between the T65 and T70 is a swiveling under-slung cannon. Clap. If only there were other fighters to choose from…A-B-Y-V… and the U looks…awful)
(Same as above really aside from two seated. Whoop-de-doo)
Orphaned protagonist on desert planet? Check
(They have the audacity to joke about this IN MOVIE)
Secret plans in astromech? Check
Death Star trenchrun? Check
Bad guy is in a mask? Check.
(Then ruins him by making him an emo Kevin the Teenager that sniffs his granddad’s ashes when he’s feeling mopey/weepy, or horny presumably. Weak, or kinky, I don’t know)
Person in cool armour that doesn’t do anything to show it in movie but we are assured is awesome (I’m looking at you, Boba). Check
The Bad Guy in the mask is only an apprentice! Check.
The Bad Guy is related to one of the charcters. Sigh. Check
Heirloom Lightsabre? OMG CHECK!! Can we do something new now?
Old wizened dude that was going to look after protagonist gets killed by Bad Guy I’m letting this one slide cause it’s a standard trope of stories anyway, not specifically Star Wars.
I could continue, but you get the idea. You can also do the same with Star Trek.
JJ only checklists, fucking douchebag. He’s almost as bad at ruining childhoods as
– Micheal Bay (bad joke averted) but at least Bay has the decency to do it with bells, whistles, explosions
. SHhh, she’s a super serious actress now.
And don’t get me started on Mary Sue, but that’s a different thing for a different day.
Oh wait, Kib covered it
I have other things to show you and talk about, but they’ll have to wait.
Plus some other other things, but secret things are secret.